The Best Ever Book of Swedish Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Swedes, like many other nations, like to use food to describe things. This funny Swedish phrase basically means “to make a bad situation worse”. The kings of Sweden and denmark are having a press conference today The king of Norway will also say a fjords Two minutes later, she is getting dressed again. The man asks her “will you take me to jail, officer?” A man decided to tattoo his wife’s name on his pen*s. When hard it reads Wendy on the side of his shaft. When soft it only reads Wy.

Lamporna blinkar, bommarna är nere, men det kommer inget tåg = “The lights are flashing and the barriers are down, but there’s no train coming” (suggests that despite appearing otherwise, someone might not be operating at their full mental capacity) Why do Swedes have empty bottles in their refrigerators?” “In case someone comes over and isn’t thirsty.” Du har inte bägge årorna i vattnet = “You don’t have both oars in the water” (suggests someone might be conducting a task incorrectly)Danes and Swedes' jokes about the Norwegians tend to revolve around their excessive national pride, and also around their simplistic, literalistic use of language. So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, “How in the world did this place get a name like Lars Andersen’s Laundry?” ABBA is a national treasure and Swedes embrace their songs quite regularly. Even people who claim to hate pop music. But Swedes tend to be proud of all Swedish musicians, whether they like them or not. But they can also sometimes refer to national stereotypes, such as this one, which is used in the introduction of Joking Relationships and National Identity in Scandinavia, an article on Scandinavian jokes published by Copenhagen University sociologist Peter Grundelach.

Sometimes, one-liners and short Q&A jokes are not enough. In such situations, here are the best longer dark jokes you can tell: Yes, this is (unfortunately) also kinda true. Two things to consider here: We don’t get a lot of sun in Sweden and alcohol is expensive and not as readily available as it is elsewhere in the world. Breaking News: The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet. In Britain, there's a great love of ribaldry, humorous repartee in the pub, or more recently on the Whatsapp groups that groups of friends have set up to replace it.The next day, another man goes to that same beach and the same woman with no legs and arms is there, crying by the shoreline. He asks her what ́s wrong. They formed S.U.C.K (Stand Up Comedy Klubben) which soon found its home at Norra Brunn on Surbrunnsgatan and has since become Sweden’s comedy Mecca. Nowadays, Oredsson is something of a stand up veteran, with over 1,000 performances to his name. “I think the Swedes are rather funny and humour is a survival kit you need here.” Quite. What did the Scandinavian girl say when asked if she wanted to move? "There is Norway I want to leave my little Sweden to Finland somewhere else."

Herr Doktor, Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”–“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”–“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!” 8. Nothing like a little divorce humor The lines are drawn: The Swedish war of words against Norwegians ought to be viewed against the 1905 partition between their countries I asked for a photo, but she said I should wait until tomorrow as she’s naked and doesn’t want to get dressed to go to the freezer in the basement this late at night. According to the Swedish folklorist Bengt af Klintberg, rather than having roots deep in history, these particular jokes are of a surprisingly recent vintage, the relic of a trend that swept the world in the 1970s.In Sweden, wages are typically higher than in other places. It’s up to employers to pay workers a decent living wage, so these workers don’t have to rely on fluctuating amounts of tips to keep a roof over their heads.